


You've Paid the Price

by paintedgold_sprinkledblack



Series: Even Saviors Need Saving [1]
Category: Kingdom Hearts
Genre: Angst, He loves his friends, KH3 spoilers, Realm of Darkness, This is not Happy, and would do anything for them, but this boy needs to think about himself sometimes, sora's heart is hurt, sora's mindset post-game, what happened after sora went to look for kairi
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-06-18
Updated: 2019-06-18
Packaged: 2020-05-14 09:32:29
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,125
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19270525
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/paintedgold_sprinkledblack/pseuds/paintedgold_sprinkledblack
Summary: Sora has been to the Realm of Darkness three times during his adventures.Two times he made it out unscathed.The third time he knew he wouldn't be leaving.





	You've Paid the Price

**Author's Note:**

> Hello!!! I wrote this a bit ago, but I thought a nice lil' one-shot would be fun to post! 
> 
> I LOVE happy and positive Sora.  
> I love Sora angst.  
> But I love his battle between wanting to be a Light for all VS suffering because of it the most.

__

* * *

 

 

 

_ Cold. Sticky. Suffocating. Paranoid. Scared. Light-draining. Hopeless.  _

 

_ Sad. _

  
  


_ Dark.  _

  
  


_ Too dark. Can’t breathe. It’s too cold. _

  
  
  


The first time Sora had wound up in the Realm of Darkness, these were the feelings and sensations creeping in - even with Riku by his side. 

  
  


He never spoke of how he had been affected by it, always wanting to be the person who could smile in even the meekest situation. It scared him to have no control, almost ashamed of how the darkness had tried to gnaw at him. Most of all though, he wanted to be that beacon of light that Riku desperately needed at that moment. He couldn’t afford to waver. 

  
  


So instead, he shoved the dark emotions from his mind and simply allowed himself to breathe and relish in the joy of being with his best friend. It was the first time in two years where he and Riku sat down and merely talked, and that was enough to fend off the biting and stinging that attempted to stain his heart. 

 

He’d spent so long searching for him, and now he was there. Despite their current predicament, he felt more powerful in knowing he kept his promise - to both him and Kairi. 

  
  


_ I missed him so much. _

  
  


Riku was right though - Sora was a complete sap, but that was something he was willing to accept. 

 

And yeah, maybe he was also a little naive to say they would both get out of there with such conviction, but -

 

He knew.

 

He knew, being positive always paid off in the end.

  
  


_ And it had. _

  
  


Kairi’s letter floated to those shores and the Door to Light brought them home.

 

 

* * *

 

 

  
  
_ Fear. Guilt. Adrenaline. Relief. Gut-wrenching nostalgia. HOPE. _

  
  


_ It’s dark. My chest feels heavy.  _

  
  


_ Riku is here. He’s alive. He’s safe. _

 

_... _

  
  


_ Aqua is here!  _

  
  


_ My heart shatters and yearns for her. I want to save her. I NEED to save her.  _

  
  


_ I can feel Ven, I can feel two heartbeats fluttering within me.  _

 

_ I can almost hear him pleading to reach her.  _

  
  


The second time Sora was in the Realm of Darkness he had walked in of his own choice. 

  
  


Riku was fighting Aqua. Mickey was entangled in a demon tower of Heartless. Aqua was...consumed by darkness created from her utter despair. She had reached her limit, and Sora couldn’t blame her in the slightest. 

 

There had been something else though.

 

A pulling sensation, wanting to be close to her. Wanting to hold her. Wanting her to smile and promise him that she and everyone else would be okay.

 

Even as she swung with lethal intent against him, he could  _ feel her crying for help.  _

  
  


Then she collapsed, falling into the inky pool of darkness that was all too eagerly pulling her in. 

 

He dived.

 

The cold couldn’t be compared to Arendelle in the slightest. It sunk into his bones, his nerves, everything from his hair to his toes, attempting to feast on his light and heart. He stood his ground, seeing her sinking further and further.

 

He cried out her name, nearly choking as ice filled his throat.

 

**_Aqua._ **

 

Her eyes opened and made contact with his own, an arm outstretched towards her.

  
  


Then his hand reached hers.

  
  


And once again they were brought to light.

 

  
  


* * *

 

 

 

 

_ Scared. _

  
  


_ Scared. _

  
  


_ It hurts.  _

 

_ It hurts  _ **_so much._ **

  
  


_ Have to keep moving. _

  
  


**_Have to find Kairi._ **

 

**_Find her._ **

 

**_Get her home._ **

  
  
  


The third time Sora found himself in the Realm of Darkness, he knew he wouldn’t truly be returning home.

  
  


When he saw and  _ felt his friends all die one by one - _

  
  


the first crack in his heart appeared.

  
  


Then he saved them! He restored himself and then everyone else and everything was fine! 

  
  


 

( _ There’s no saving you. You’ve paid the price. And it lies at the bottom of the abyss.) _

 

  
  


Until Kairi was murdered.

  
  


The second crack formed as he watched her break into pieces, sparkles of dust raining down upon him (the only thing that  _ remained of her _ !), a devilish grin with glowing yellow eyes left behind where she had once stood. 

 

Hatred smeared his station of awakening. A dark mist which had only resided upon the edges slowly creeping its way towards the center, spewing deliberately from the shattered pieces within him. 

  
  


He knew the moment he defeated Xehanort. When the older man collapsed in a heap in front of him, he  _ felt it. _

  
  


_ My heart isn’t coming back from this one. The younger version of Xehanort was right. I’m a goner. _

 

_ But Kairi -  _

 

_ I can’t go home. I can’t tell them I’m screwed.  _

 

_ I can’t face Riku.  _

 

_ I can’t waste this chance.  _

 

_ If I’m going to...die anyway... _

 

_ Then I...I can get her back. _

 

**_I will get her back._ **

 

_ It’s too late for me. _

 

_ But… _

 

_ It isn’t for her. I won’t let it be.  _

  
  
  


_ Not for one more second. _

  
  


So he left. He could barely look into the eyes of all of his friends, old and new. He wanted to cry and scream at the unfairness of it all. 

  
  


He was reckless and self-sacrificing, and impulsive.

  
  


 

But he didn’t want to die! No, more now than ever  _ he wanted to live!  _

  
  
  
  


He wanted to learn more about Ven, compare their likes and dislikes.

 

He wanted to hug Roxas if he’d allow it, eat ice cream and share stories. 

 

He wanted to have a more formal introduction with Xion; at the beach or something (it felt right)!

 

He wanted to be close to them, he wanted to  _ know them, the real them! _

 

He wanted to see the faces of Daisy, Minnie, and Max when their family came home. 

 

He wanted to embrace his greatest companions and cheer for their victory against Xehanort.

 

He wanted Aqua to help him pass his Mark of Mastery and see her become a great teacher. 

 

He wanted to talk to Terra, train with him, show him his Keyblade Transformations. 

 

He wanted to joke around with Axel, have snippy and sarcastic conversations. 

 

He wanted to thank Namine, dammit, he had promised!

  
  


He wanted to go home.

  
  


Stare into the most beautiful sunset with Riku and Kairi upon their designated Paopu tree.

He wanted to hold them and never ever let go again.

 

If he could just see them one more time…

 

...He just wanted more time.

 

~~ (there’s always enough time) ~~

 

~~ (there’s never enough time) ~~

 

One more run on the beach…

 

One more swim in the warm salty sea…

 

One more night staring up at the stars while lying on the sand,

 

Both by his side.

  
  


There wasn’t enough time for that though. 

 

There just wasn’t.

 

He only wished he hadn’t taken his life before and his friends for granted.

  
  
  


_ Scared. So, so scared.  _

  
  


A dry sob tore from Sora as he stumbled along the winding trails, absolutely and utterly alone. More alone than he’d ever been. He was exhausted, body aching terribly, old cuts and bruises pulling with every step. He hadn’t healed them. What was the point? Now, all he could do was preserve his energy, try to dodge fights, use as little energy as possible when he did, and search for the brightest light of all. 

 

He shivered and hugged himself tightly, unsure if it was because of how cold he was or the adrenaline pumping through him. Every step forward...was another step closer until he was gone. He knew it, his heart knew it, and his body seemed keenly aware as well.

 

_ Just keep moving. Just keep moving. Just keep moving. Just ke - _

 

His breath hitched, stopping in his tracks as his heart trembled and groaned from within. A hand went flying to his chest, gripping his tank top in his fist and nearly gagged at the pain that shuddered through him. He had to bite his fist to stay quiet, eyes darting about to ensure enemies hadn’t heard him. He remained absolutely still until the wave passed and he was able to continue, his knees buckling slightly on his first few steps.

 

He hated being like this. He had always been able to smile, no matter what. Hell, he’d impaled himself with a Keyblade while grinning like an idiot! Of course, he hadn’t felt that on the inside...he wanted to reassure Donald and Goofy...at least this time he wouldn’t have to see the looks of despair etched in their faces. Didn’t have to hear them cry his name. That facade hadn’t been only for them, however, it always aided him in pushing himself into doing what had to be done.

 

_ Fake it ‘til you make it...is that the saying? _

 

There was no faking it this time, no making it. He was tired and in pain and mourning what could have been.

 

So, he didn’t try to fight the tears as they rolled silently down his cheeks. In fact, he welcomed them. He wasn’t happy, and he didn’t have to pretend he was. In a way, it was relieving, even taking some of the bone-crushing pressure off his shoulders.

 

Weirdly enough, it actually added a small pep to his step. He knew off-handedly he must look insane (not that anyone was there to witness his complete meltdown), but if that’s what it took to continue moving, he’d take it.

 

But then, not too much later…

 

He saw it.

 

Light.

  
  


Not just any,  _ it was Kairi! _

 

He jolted forward, reaching out with both hands to pull the warmth towards him. The heart glittered and shone like the sun itself, and it heated Sora’s frozen hands.

 

 

_ “I finally found you, Kairi,”  _ he whispered softly, encasing her safely in his grasp and into a gentle embrace. With both of their lights so close to one another, the darkness sensed them and was closing in, he didn’t have much time. He let out a trembling breath, Keyblade appearing in his grip. What felt like white-hot knives pierced and cut and tore at the already jagged pieces of his heart and he let out a shrill yelp of agony. His breathing quickened into uncontrolled gasps, shaking and huffing as he raised his key towards Kairi, stepping back just far enough that the tip hovered only centimeters from it. 

 

He gave the glowing heart a teary smile, “it’s going to be okay now. I’ve got you.”

 

_ I’m sorry.  _

 

_ I wish I could stay. _

 

_ I owe you so many apologies. _

 

_ I owe everyone so many apologies… _

 

_ Take care of yourself. Take care of Riku. _

 

A beam of light shot from the end of Kingdom Key,

 

and everything turned white. 

  
  


* * *

  
  
  


It was warm. 

 

Sora felt the familiar touch of bark, the scent of the ocean as its calm rolling waves met his ears. He heard laughter and excited conversation from behind.

 

He felt the sun beating on his skin, an even warmer sensation in his hand. 

  
  


“Sora.” It was Kairi’s hand in his, her whisper like a symphony. Both continued to look out into the sunset, but he could feel her shudder beside him. He squeezed her hand ever so slightly.

 

_ She knows. Of course, she does. I shouldn’t be surprised.  _

  
  


He was out of time. But for a fleeting moment, he felt no pain. He felt no fear. She was  _ there and alive  _ and right then and there, that was all he needed. There wasn’t regret, not in the slightest. He had done it. 

 

“Hey,” he murmured lamely. His voice was fading, and he was finding it difficult to even formulate words. He had to hurry, had to tell her. 

 

“W-why?” 

 

He noticed her chin wobbling from his peripherals, attempting to blink away her tears. 

 

“Why? Isn’t it obvious, silly? I couldn’t just let you go.” 

 

He gave her a warm smile before continuing, finally turning her head towards her. Her eyes met his, hers filled with utter heartbreak and guilt.  

 

“How about this time you come to rescue me. Sound good, Kairi? Just don’t do anything stupid, I’ll know. Same goes for Riku. I’ll be waiting, kay?”

 

A small winded gasp escaped her lungs before her lips curved upwards into a smile. He tightened his grip on her hand once more, unable to speak. The colors around him were beginning to dull, the edges swirling black.

 

“I promise, Sora. We’ll get you back.  _ I’ll get you back. _ ” 

 

A lone tear ran down her cheek, but her smile remained. Sora’s smile widened, confirming that he had heard the promise. 

 

He was disappearing. The sounds around him grew muffled, everything blurring out. He couldn’t feel anything around him. 

 

The last thing he saw was the piercing violet eyes of determination and the word ‘promise’ on loop in his mind.

  
  
  
  
  


Then Sora was falling, a kaleidoscope of colors swirling swiftly into his vision, and pain followed by the sound of glass shattering into dust.

  
  
  


Then…

  
  
  
  
  
  
  


_ Nothing.  _

  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  
  



End file.
